fyk1043262757 发表于 2023-9-27 07:05   全显示 1楼
作者写的不错，上下文衔接的也还行，但个人觉得这种控制文，更多应该在人物的心里变化上，要有浅到深，就像那种pua一样，其次就人物的形象描述希望可以更加生动点，当然个人观点。有不同观点我也支持的。


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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +4 认真回复，奖励！ 2023-9-27 12:16
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